Divali message

As you all may know, Divali is fast approaching. This important Hindu festival does not only entail food and decorating ourselves in exquisite Indian apparel but also consists of spiritual reflection and most importantly prayer to Mother Lakshmi. Divali asks each of us to engage in mindful introspection…to look deep within ourselves and look for strength, hope, peace, happiness and love. Upon such reflection, we should not only remember ourselves but we should also upon our families, friends, society, our country and our world. We ought to remember what are our personal responsibilities and our duty to our country.

Our country and by large, our planet Earth needs us to be the light that shines like the deeya. Darkness pervades the air. Darkness comes in the form of crime, negativity, poverty, sickness, ignorance, greed, anger, hatred. Everywhere you turn you can see such darkness and many of us feel the grappling effects. The deeya which is one of the most important symbols of Divali because of the light. Light is significant in Hinduism because it signifies purity, goodness, good luck and power. The existence of light means the non- existence of darkness and evil forces. Most certainly we need such positive forces in our lives. But there is a light within all of us that can shine and overpower the darkness. Let this festival of Divali we a reminder of how much power we hold within. Now more than ever we all need to spread love, positive energy, love, peace, kindness and knowledge.

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Getting work done!

Hey guys, so most of you all are probably struggling to get work done or you feel you are running out of time to complete your assignments. I’m here to tell you that you will get it all done. But there is no secret formula. I have decided to share a study/work plan that can help in situations where you are overwhelmed with assignments and exams during the semester.

1. Set your alarm and get your ass up when it rings. Get going when that alarm rings! Do not snooze it, that is a huge mistake. Open your eyes, sit up and pray. Thank God for a new day and ask God to guide you through the day.

2. After step one, pull out your planner and list all the things you have to get done today. Start listing priorities. What assignments you must get done? Order them in importance. Work you did not complete the day before or the night before, include it in your list firstly (if it is urgent or due soon). Do not take an hour to plan, 10 minutes is sufficient. In addition, estimate how much time you would take to do a task. You are not Flash nor are you a turtle, so be realistic. Your list should be numbered, ordered and concise.

3. In addition, create a separate list on a colored sticky note to attach to your daily to do list. This sticky note would include small tasks like chores for example take vitamins, sweep floor, change sheets, call dentist to make an appointment. You can put a suggested time to complete such task,. Order in importance as well. Take 5-10 minutes to do this.

4. After planning, take an hour or a hour and a half to prepare yourself for the day ahead. Make a healthy breakfast, drink water, shower, refresh yourself, make up your bed, brush your teeth, clear your desk, place your work supplies on the desk. TRY TO AVOID COFFEE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. Drink tea. Eat brain foods. Also, call who you have to and check your messages. Reply to messages that are important or relevant to you work tasks. You can always reply to the messages concerning that party or movies lime later when you have done a considerable amount of work. That is not important. You have to prioritize especially when you have a lot due soon.

5. After that hour and a half, START WORK. Turn off your WiFi on your phone. Avoid using it while doing work. When you take a break you can check your phone. But do not let it be a distraction. Susan will not die if you don’t reply to her messages about the fight between her and her boyfriend. That is not your business. You can talk to her later.

6. Time yourself. Time each task. Do not take a break when you feel like it. Plan your breaks and work time. During breaks, use the bathroom, drink water, you can check your phone. But time your breaks. Do not go overtime. Listen to music if you want to relax. You need breaks but do not go overboard with them. Time yourself. With practice and discipline, it will be easier. You have to be serious and focused when you are doing your work.

7. You can reward yourself with a longer break once you are on track with your work schedule. If you are finished early, read through your notes and read ahead. Prepare for your classes for the next day. Get some extra sleep. Self care is also important but remember to monitor your time.

I hope these tips have helped in some way. Take care of yourself. Do not rush your tasks. Pace yourself, plan, organize and monitor time. Create efficient work plans and do not compare yourself to others. Focus on you and discover your work habits and develop them over time. It won’t be easy but it will be rewarding. If you need work advice you can always message me via social media. And do not ever be ashamed to ask for help or advice. Best wishes guys !!

Hugs and kisses,

Reshma Catherine

October inspiration

New month !! Welcome to the month of October. Yes, the year is flying by so quickly and of course as humans we face obstacles, challenges, doubt, fear as well as we experience good times. This blog post is about some inspirational quotes that speaks volumes about our daily lives. They are quite inspirational and some are Christian related quotes but they do send a good message to all. I am not a Christian but some of the quotes on this blog most certainly are a source of hope and love. I do hope you enjoy these messages and understand my interpretation of these quotes.

1. ”God never said that the journey would be easy, but He did say that the arrival would be worthwhile”- Max Lucado

I needed to hear this quote last month and most certainly this month. Simply because, I have been wondering when would I complete some my goals. Things have been stagnant in my life and no matter what I do I feel as if I am failing. That’s the thing, the journey may never be as simple as we want it to be. In our mind we create a picture of what we want to be, where we want to be and why we want to be there. But the thing is there is no guarantee on our plans. God is the one in control of our destiny and he put those little dreams and hopes in our heart. It is a process to get to our goal/s and even though we may feel like it is taking forever to get there or there are too many obstacles, we have to remember that those are stepping stones to success and on these stones we are going to change and be exposed to new things, lessons, feelings, people. But we just have to keep going and remember that the destination will be all worth our efforts.

2. ”The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or heard, but must be felt with the heart” – Helen Keller

Unfortunately, many people value material things and believe that having the most popular items and expensive things would make them happy. That is not true. According to this quote and what I also believe is that you can be happy with even the simplest of things but it is how feel it with your heart. It is a feeling deep within that only you can treasure and experience. It is a feeling that is indescribable, one that you will always cherish. For me, hugging someone I adore or care about, makes me smile on the inside. A warm kind of feeling that makes me forget about my problems and just bask in bliss. Or watching my mom smile, that is a beautiful thing that goes beyond my eyes and strikes my heart. And sometimes when I feel sad or down, I look for that smile or I think about it to remind me of how beautiful simple things can be. If you haven’t felt happy or peaceful in awhile, search for it. Go to the beach, close your eyes and focus on the crashing of the waves and the breeze or just sit and practice mindfulness, you will experience something so calming yet fulfilling.

3. ”Everything may not be perfect. There are things that need to change, but you have the grace to be happy”- Joel Osteen

This quote bears similarity to the last quote but it simply reminds us that there is always a reason to be happy. Sometimes I find myself feeling as if my world is crashing because certain things changed or didn’t work in my favor. And then I realize or I am reminded that there are many reasons to be happy with what I have. Not one day did I have to beg for food or clothes, I have a roof over my head, a family, peace, health and a few people that love me. There are people with far less than me and they have the brightest smiles and they do not focus constantly on their problems. They’re not ignoring their problems but they are not letting their problems destroy their happiness. They continue to pray, work hard and appreciate whatever little they have. Because trust me, there are people who would do anything to have what you do. Don’t let anything steal your joy.

4. ” Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love”- Mother Teresa.

This is very important to remember because little things do matter. You do not need to donate tons of money to charity or give your girlfriend the most expensive necklace. Give whatever you can with love. That’s what is important, giving and doing things out of love and not for fame or recognition. Volunteer or help with a fundraiser, adopt a pet but do it with love and passion, spend time with your parents, do not do things for likes on IG or for your name to be in the newspapers. Small gestures do count and make a difference.

I hope that you are impacted some way by these quotes and messages. Do good out there and spread love, peace and joy. Keep pushing to achieve your goals and do not forget to take care of yourself and those around you.

love always,

Reshma Catherine.

 

What has dating taught me so far?

Dating oh my my my.

So many people hate talking about their dating stories. I was once like that but now I have realized that it is okay to share experiences and I hope that someone out there learn from my stories and don’t go out hurting people’s feelings like how some people had hurt me. Sooooo, where do we start? Well, I am gonna list some things I have noted from my experiences. Before I start, I just want to define dating. Now everyone may have their own concept of dating. For me, dating is the stage before a relationship, where two people are interested in each other and spend a lot of time together. So most times, in my case, dating did not turn into a relationship.

1. Get to know the person – Now you cannot be dating someone and constantly being asking ”what are you doing?” every five minutes of the day. Let me start by saying that you cannot possibly expect to learn about someone by doing that consistently. That is boring and useless. You gotta call the person or ask questions about their likes, dislikes, current life challenges, GOALS etc etc etc. You can legit google dating questions. I have done it and no one has noticed. But you know what? These questions help you understand who this person is and the TYPE of personality he/she is. You can’t be going around assuming she will enjoy a sushi date with you and when you do take her to a sushi restaurant, you will look like an idiot because home girl is allergic to sushi. So get to know the person via calls, texts, dates etc. Get out there and uncover who she/he is. I have legit met guys that do not take the initiative to get to know who I am. That is a huge turn off if you are going out with someone and they don’t care about you, honestly.

2. Learn to open up- This follows up to my first point above. If you know you do not want to open up to someone new then don’t effing date the person. Straight up, don’t lead the person on when you know you are incapable of opening up because you will be wasting someone else’s time. Now, opening up does not mean giving him/her your phone password. Opening up means expressing your feelings, thoughts to someone. It means GENUINELY caring about someone and letting them be part of your life without feeling ashamed or scared of doing all those things privately and publicly. At different stages of the dating phase, opening up to that person may intensify. You can’t be pouring out your heart and soul to the person on the first date. Gradually, you will reveal certain information about yourself. Now if you are married or dating someone else, do not be opening up and trying to lead on others.

3. The friend zone after dating is not always the best answer. For some people, it is simple to return to the friendship stage with someone after deciding that dating is not the best option. However, in almost all my instances I did not see the need to return to the friendship stage because that person has hurt me deeply. And my motto is: If you are not contributing positively to my life or goals, then you shouldn’t be in my life. Sounds harsh but it’s true. I don’t have time to waste and neither should you. Don’t be trying to be a good friend or stuck to someone you used to date expecting that person will change or come back to you or be there for you when you need someone. Move on alone and heal if you have to but remember being around that toxic ex ain’t gonna help you heal.

4. Do not GHOST someone. You all know about those dates that go ghost. They just pick themselves up and mentally say ”adios” to you. They don’t reply or answer their phone. That is the most childish shit ever. If you want to stop dating someone,

tell them. If you have an issue that’s bothering you about that person COMMUNICATE, don’t be disappearing and leaving your date out there overthinking about what he/she did to make you leave. Grow up and face the problem. Ghosting doesn’t help solve anything. You just make things worst.

5. Do not forget your friends when you are dating or in a relationship. Now I have been that single friend for some time and I have noticed how some friends both male and female have been distant with me since they started dating others. And they only remember me when they have dating issues. Now, I have no problem listening to people’s problems but where were you when I needed someone to talk

to? Please, do not forget your other friends that you spent time with before you was

in a relationship or dating. Check up on them because we have single people problems plus life problems too…..

There are so many other things that I could mention but I don’t want the blog to be too lengthy. But remember these views are mines and you may disagree with things I have said. I hope you remember these things in your dating lives and that it all works out. Also, do not overwork yourself trying to fix your relationship problems when your date or partner is not helping to work things out. It takes two to tango. So you need to know when to give up dating certain people and when you should continue being with that person. You both need to work together to have a happy and toxic free dating experience and a relationship. Let me know what you think bout this post and topics you would like me to discuss. Thanks for reading and spread love out there.

Yours truly,

Reshma Catherine.

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Positive vibes

It’s been awhile since I have written a blog post and it has been on my mind to do so . I have also been thinking about what to write in amidst of figuring out some things in my life and working on mini goals/projects. And then this week, an idea hit me, why not write about being positive because that is one of my challenges for months. How do I be positive when everything seems chaotic and overwhelming? There are moments in life where we feel like nothing is going the way we want it to.

Our goals seem impossible to meet or certain circumstances seem to

be preventing us from becoming what we want to be. Unfortunately, we cannot change everything in life, we cannot change people and we cannot make the bank clear our debts. I mean miracles do happen but most times we have to deal with things directly and quickly because we know what can happen soon if we don’t respond to obstacles or changes soon. What we can change is our attitude. That is hard and I’m saying this because I know what it is like to wake up with a heavy feeling on your chest and that constant overthinking at night and day. It is scary how somethings can hurt us so much or cause us to feel defeated in life.

But here is where the true challenge begins, the challenge of channeling your energy into positive thinking and actions. We have to be determined to overcome the odds, the pain, the adversity, the anxiety, the problems that we endure. BEING POSITIVE IS NOT ABOUT PROJECTING A PERFECT LIFE.Rather, it’s about choosing to see the good in life, believing in the power of encouragement, and having hope that things will get better (even when they really, really suck).

1. Listen to music that gives off the same mood you want to be in. I know that people listen to sad or slow music when they aren’t in a good mood. For some, they feel okay but I know I wanna feel more than okay. I want to feel vibrant and energetic so I usually listen to upbeat and happy music. Those songs that make you wanna sing and dance are the ones that will make you feel ready to handle anything.

2. Eat healthy and be active. Choose healthy foods that are loaded with nutrients that will help make you feel great. Recently, I have trying my best to do that and honestly there are days I just wanna eat cake and binge watch shows. I mean we are not perfect human beings and some days you will do just that and be lazy. That’s okay for awhile but then you have to be consciously aware that it is time you get up and be active. Even if it is walking around the park or playing with your pets.

3. Set goals. This one is especially important because setting goals means you are ready to overcome your setbacks. Set realistic and simple goals. It doesn’t have to be anything extraordinary. But setting goals and pursuing them can help you feel excited again and refocused on what truly matters to you. Having goals to work towards can make us more positive. When we feel stagnant and not confident, it’s a lot easier to see the bad parts of life. Start small, and remind yourself of all the great things you can accomplish.

4. Create a sunshine box or list. This is where you sit and remove all distractions. It is just you, the pen and paper. Write all the little things that you are grateful for. Also write what makes you happy. It could be as simple as seeing your mom smile or holding someone hands or the taste of ice cream. Then, you should try to experience these things that make you happy. For example, make your mom smile and just admire her smile for awhile, right there and then. And then you can tell her

how much her smile means to you. Just enjoy the simple things you have. Let these simple things be your motivation to keep going in life.

5.Share your issues. Letting your struggles bottle up inside is just a breakdown waiting to happen. If we share our hardships, we can receive encouragement from others that will help us re-focus on our strength, courage, and perseverance.

6.Ask yourself – does this really matter? Usually when I find myself being negative, it’s over trivial things that won’t stand a chance in my long-term memory. So why do I let them get to me in the moment? Beats me! When my problems are trivial, I do my best to remind myself that they’re not important. And then I move on. It is important to take a few deep breaths and really think things through before letting your negative thoughts destroy you.

7. Remember who you are and your accomplishments so far. Most times when I have a huge problem I sit and remember all the challenges I had overcome in the past and all the little victories. For example, I remember the days I have been

hospitalized after surgery and how scared I was thinking I won’t heal or the fact that they said I may have complications after. And I did recover. It took awhile but every now and then my surgery area would hurt a little. And I think to myself that my body is reminding me of what I had overcame and that I can overcome much more now in the present. You have no idea how much strength you have within you to overcome negative situations. You just have to push yourself, no one else can for you.

I hope this blog helps someone out there or reminds you how strong you are. You just have to believe in yourself. Tap into your skills and resources. Whatever little you have, use that. Be positive and believe that things are gonna work out. The results may not always be what you desire but keep going. Pursue that dream in your heart. Enjoy the journey towards success. Grasp the lessons that each challenge teaches you. And do not forget to encourage those around you. Smile and keep working.

Love always,

Reshma.

strong I was. nd I can be strong now in amsist of whatever life throws at me.

refocused and excited.

overpower

Hurt and healing

Recently I was explaining to someone why I give less energy to certain people in my life and why I have changed so much lately. And that person said to me “why are you changing and how long are you going take to heal?” That’s quite interesting. Thing is that person has a point but also there’s a misunderstanding. There is no time limit to heal. Let’s be honest, how long someone takes to heal from something emotionally or physically should not be determined by anyone else. In fact, I may not know how long I will take to heal from things. That’s a process on its own.

While healing, you ought to notice and question things that happened in the past. That’s fine. Because you allow yourself to feel and open that wound for awhile. But you have to close it after sometime, after analyzing what had happened and how you really feel. After exploring your feelings, it is important to figure out where you want to be example achieving emotional stability. Then, you gotta try different methods, in other words, create your own path. Drinking, sex, gambling are all distractions and are not healthy coping or healthy healthy mechanisms. They numb the pain for awhile but it never helps to heal. Lots of people desire quick fixes to their problems. Unfortunately, there isn’t. It is a process that can seem frustrating. There will be days where you feel okay and then there are days where you feel all the memories and pain hitting you rapidly. But that is how it is my friends.

There is nothing wrong with feeling things. We are humans although based

on some people’s actions we think they aren’t human but they are. There are people who seem heartless or careless about anything but they do feel and have emotions. How they deal with it we may never know. For instance, I go numb when something bad happens or I may be irritable and moody.When that happens, I learnt that moving away from the situation and clearing my mind for awhile before thinking about a solution is the best method for me. That method may not always work for certain situations. It is quite difficult and impossible to plan ahead about how we are going to to react to something because life is very unpredictable.

I also know what it feels like to not tell people how you feel because you don’t want to seem weak or emotional. Honestly, you don’t have to tell everyone how you feel because that is not important to them or may not be beneficial to you.However, if you are close to someone or trust someone like a close friend then feel free to turn to them. As long as you are comfortable and ready to open up,then do it. That person you open up to ought to be a good listener and you should know that before opening up because you do not want your business out on the road or on social media. I had experiences where I thought I could turn to a good friend and turns out that person did not care or seem to be interested in being a good friend to me at that time. And that hurts and made me think about not opening up to people again but the thing is not everyone is a bad friend. Choose wisely.

The most important thing is that you know you feel and you determine what plan of action you are going to execute to feel good again. There are tons of blogs and articles related to different experiences and how to heal. Be proactive and try some but remember that you should really want to heal before you jump in this new journey. You have to want what is best for you. No one can decide that but you. Only you know how you feel and why. You owe no one any explanation for your healing process. Just ensure that you do not hurt people along the way. Get rid of negativity and toxic people around you. It may be that you end up alone because you were always around toxic people and that is okay. Being alone is better than being around bad company. Focus on yourself and eventually you will attract good people in your life. It could one or two new friends but nothing is wrong with that as long as you

are happy and that you feel safe around them.

There is so much to talk about regarding this topic and it is something I am passionate about. If you want to talk more about this,you can hit me up on social media. I am not a expert as yet. I am on this journey as well and it is tough at times

but it is something I have to do. Also, my blogs vary in theme. I try to switch it up and give perspectives on various things. If you do have a topic of interest, let me know please and thank you. Hopefully we all blossom and spread sunshine in this world. Be kind and caring to yourself and to others out there.

Hugs and kisses,

Reshma Catherine.

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Most times, we don’t really know how we truly feel or why. During the healing process, notice those things. Let yourself feel. Don’t hide the pain. Sit and think about it. Do what you gotta do to heal. How someone heals from traumatic events may not be how you will heal effectively. Trial and error must occur for you to discover the best mechanism or mechanisms possible. Key term: healthy mechanisms.

Am I beautiful enough?

Just this week, I was working out ( Yes I’m trying to be fit) and I saw Ms Hot Latina in the gym. I could not help but wonder why I don’t look as hot or attractive as her. If any man looks at her for a while, I think he will enter a new world entirely. And which man wouldn’t want a woman like that? Am I that attractive, beautiful or have a well-toned body? And when I really thought about this, I suddenly remembered all the people in my life that complimented me and told me great things about me. My close friends (although it’s about 3 of them) always tell me about my personality and how much I have achieved so far. That’s great, isn’t it? To have people notice you or find you attractive is self-satisfying and you feel proud of yourself. But that’s the thing, how some people defined my beauty was mostly based on my personality, my outlook, my style and flair. These people that are or were close to me know exactly who I am. Not just on the outside but because what is there on the inside. This applies to everyone. I wasn’t using my story to rate up myself or anything, by the way, my story is a point of reference for this topic of beauty.

Every day we are presented with images of perceived beauty in magazines, on TV, on IG, on product campaigns and we literally feel as if we have to compete as well. Women, in particular, feel the need to starve themselves, wear high-end brands, look on ‘fleek’ all the time. The truth is the definition of beauty evolves all the time. What the fashion magazines deem beautiful is different from yesterday’s definition and possibly next month’s definition. Trends and looks change. And lots of people have this desire to keep up with all of this. This is what is called objective beauty. It’s the beauty on catwalks, media and magazines.

Subjective beauty, my friends, is the real-life beauty. This kind of beauty refers to the overall package, the You package. How you walk, how you talk, how you laugh, how you smile, how you treat people…. that is the beauty which matters the most. Your beauty which is your overall package cannot be replicated and that is what makes you unique. We are all different and yes, this You package contains a few flaws. So what if you have dark marks on your legs, stretch marks, cellulite or low metabolism? You can work on your personality flaws or your attitude if you believe that you need to. You don’t have to change a hair on your head just because a magazine says bald women or men are in style this season or it would make you more attractive. Do you, boo. Do what makes you happy or comfortable but just ensure that whatever you do, it is not an attempt to fit into society’s subjective definition of beauty. Because that definition will constantly change and trust me, you do not have the time, money or energy to keep up all the time.

That feeling someone gets by being around you comes because of your inner beauty. What one person likes about you another may not. But that is okay. For instance, I have this silly habit of singing along to my fav songs when I go out or in the car. Maybe someday, a guy won’t have a problem with that or he might sing along with me. I met people that found that habit of mines annoying but I won’t stop singing guys because it makes me happy. I am a terrible singer but that is okay because that is who I am. I know my close friends and my parents don’t mind at all. In fact, they find it entertaining. Well, would you look at that? That is all part of the package as well as my flaws. Plus, I am trying my best to work on my flaws. It is all part of what makes me beautiful. By the way, things on your body example marks on your skin or a health disorder are not flaws.

I know what it feels like to be comparing yourself to people all the time and thinking about why you are not like those models or those people around you that seem to have it all. But there are a lot of people that have insecurities and self-esteem problems behind those filters and cosmetic surgeries. They also have reality beauty problems that they often ignore.

My message to you is: Look deep within yourself and take note of who you really are. What do you think makes you beautiful? Is it your determination to succeed,

your passions, your smile, your chuckles, your sense of humour or your ability to see the beauty in life? Work on those flaws if you need to, that’s your life challenge. But do not forget to focus on the light that shines within you. Hopefully, those who read this feel enlightened and a sense of empowerment. And you can DM me or message me to let me know what you think about my blogs or how you feel reading it. Be good and smile 🙂

Lots of love,

Reshma Catherine.

 

Leave them alone!

As you know, last week the religious leaders of Trinidad and Tobago expressed their concerns about homosexuality and that it should not allowed in our nation. They said that homosexuality contributes to the degradation of society. According CNC3’s news report, these leaders are calling on the government to amend the marriage law to ensure that right can only be accessed by a biological man or woman. In addition, they asked that protection based on sexual orientation not to be included in the equal opportunities act. CRAZY,RIGHT ?!?

In my opinion, these leaders are fussing over trivial matters. At this moment, the main concern is crime in our nation. Criminals are the ones who are degrading society not homosexuals. I don’t understand why people are concerned about who is sleeping with who or who loves who at this point in time. At least they loving others and not shooting and robbing people out on the street.

Proponents argue that equal rights must mean equal rights. A civilized society does not discriminate on grounds of race, religion, sex or sexuality and denial of marriage rights is clear discrimination. Gay and heterosexual couples both deserve the legal rights associated with marriage – on taxes, property ownership, inheritance or adoption. No matter how you try to dress it up, denying equal rights to gays and lesbians is homophobia.

In addition, I strongly believe that the state should have no say on how consenting adults conduct their lives. If two people love each other and want to get married they should be allowed to do so regardless of the colour, religion, nationality or sex of their partner. Love and marriage should be a purely personal choice. When governments interfere in the private lives of people, dictating who can marry who, individual freedoms are compromised with potentially dangerous implications.

I know a lot of people are going to disagree with what I said here on this blog and that is fine because we are all entitled to our opinions. But I do ask that you keep an open mind and understand the homosexuality dynamics. Now is not the time to divide people. Love and unity is of utmost importance during these days where guns and criminals roam our streets. These religious leaders should focus on more urgent matters at hand and so too should the government.

Machismo

What the hell is machismo? But I’m pretty sure you heard the adjective “macho”; an adjective used to describe men. Machismo can be defined as an attitude of exaggerated masculinity: a strong sense of male pride. This term ‘macho’ has a long history in Spanish countries and Portugal. But certainly it can be seen in the Caribbean. Throughout popular literature and even in humanitarian reports, this term is associated with negative characteristics such as sexism, misogyny, hypermasculinity. Many scholars characterise macho men as violent, rude, womanizing and prone to alcoholism.

Machismo is deemed as a cultural factor in many societies. One key aspect to note is machismo’s influence on a man’s behaviour, one where he has to prove his strength in society. Males are expected to be tough and not show much emotions. Of course there exists great pressure “to be a man” in many societies in the world. Experts have found and outlined behavioual patterns around the machismo culture.

1. Restrictive emotionality– restraining oneself from expressing emotions. We see this almost everyday, where men are called names for expressing their feelings like crying in public or being overly sensitive.

2. Homophobia– the fear of homoesexuals and even discrimination against homosexuals. Interestingly, I have noticed that some males approve of lesbianism but disapprove of gays in society.

3. Socialized control, power, competition – the desire to be in charge, commanding others and to excel above others. Whatever these men command, it must be done. This can be seen in almost every societal institution especially within households and the labour markets where men want to be on top of the social and economical ladder at all times.

4. Male infidelity– there exists pressure for a man to be sexually experienced. Male infidelity are practiced in many cultures as men are not expected to hold the same level of chastity as women. In Latin america and other regions, girls are taught to tolerate unfaithful partners, since it is part of the machismo culture.

Without a doubt, you can see that this machimso culture isn’t just found in Latin america but also in the Caribbean. All those behaviours listed above can be noted in a large number of men in our society. Education is said to be the solution to the problem. But this attitude is spread through the socialization process starting from infancy. For instance, a child seeing his father abuse his mother and she does not fight back or leave, there is a high possibility that this boy will grow up and emulate his father’s actions and the cycle continues. Or a boy is taught not to cry or express his feelings openly, he may very well pass that attitude on to his son in the future. There is a lot of work to be done in schools and at home to change such negative attitudes.

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